This week I saw two couples in marriage counseling. Both of the wives complained that they had been choked by their husband. And of course, both of the husbands were sorry and promising they would never act that way again.
However, both husbands were found to have a drinking problem, and both were in denial about it. Hence, chances are that both will engage in abusive behavior again until they recognize they have a problem.
I have seen this over and over again. And marriage counseling is simple ineffective unless the drinking problem is addressed.
There may be a number of other issues involved. But the fact remains that the spouse’s Alcohol problem continues to resurface and destroy any progress made in the relationship.
If you have a spouse who drinks excessively and turns into Jeckel and Hide, you need to face the fact that things are not going to really change until you face the reality of your situation:
Alcohol and marriage don’t mix.
While not every one has what one would could call an Obsessive Compulisve Disorder, many people suffer with OCD traits.
My favorite example of someone with obsessive traits was my wife’s late step-father, Mr. Bob.
Mr. Bob had serious obsessive tendencies. I can still see him now: He had two Magnolia trees on the front lawn. When ever the wind blew a leaf on the ground, he would run out side to quickly pick it up. Mr. Bob had a beautiful home; the kind they show in Homes & Garden. Of course, he spent a lot of time keeping it clean. When ever I cam over for supper, he had a towel over his shoulder, ready to hurry and wash your plate. One of my fondest memories of Mr. Bob was the time I was relaxing in his den. He had just returned from work and immediately came in to straighten things; not that anyhthing was really out of place. But to him things were.
Mr. Bob had two ceiling fans in his den, and that day, he got on a chair and position the blades of both fans in the same direction. Mr. Bob, was no doubt, a wee bit obsessive about things. Nevertheless, I liked old Mr. Bob. He was a good man; a man of high standards.
I wonder though, if Mr.Bob’s obsessive nature did’nt send him to an early grave. He died of cancer in his late fifities.
Who knows. But I do know that obsessive compulisve tendencies are treatable. If you see a little or a lot of your self in Mr. Bob, why not get help ….
Frank A. Trupiano, LCSW
Hello and welcome!
My name is Frank Trupiano, and I am a psychotherapist working in Gretna, Lousiana. My office is only a hop and skip from downtown New Orleans– near the famous Superdome and French Quarter.
People in New Orleans are noted for knowing how to pass a good time. We have a reputation of being some of the most easy going people in the world. But like everyone else, we have our share of heartach and problems. I know most everyone has heard of Katrina and the devestation it caused.
In this blog, I could tell you a lot of first-hand stories about that Hurricane and how it hurt people. You see, I worked as a trauma specialist during the aftermath. I gave basic psychological first aid to employees of at least 50 major corperations in the area. That’s not to mention the number of people I treated at my office for depression, PTSD, and anxiety, etc., related to the storm. I could go on and on about Katrina and the emotional toll on people’s lives. But that’s not the purpose of this blog.
A Forum for Personal Development and Counseling Information
My purpose in creating this blog is to create a forum for people to gain information about personal development and counseling. As pychotheapist with 20+ years of experience, I have helped countless people make significant changes in their lives. And sometimes, it was a simple coping technqiue that did the trick or some simple concept I taught them.
The fact is we have more information and technologies available to us that can rapidly change lives then ever before. Over the years I have collected a number of these techniques that have helped people overcome challenging life-situations.
I dedicate this blog to all the people that have allowed me the honor of being their theapist over the last 20 years and to everyone who is a seeker of truth and who wants to contribute their knowledge to this forum.
So who will be the first to contribut to this forum. Ask a question about a problem you may be having. It could be on any topic: marriage, family, relationships, anger managment, depression, stress management, phobias, addictions, weight lost, etc.,
Or fill free to provide some information on something of interest in the personal development field: Maybe somthing that has been of value to you.? Are you an expert in some form of therapy?
Frank A. Trupiano, LCSW